She didn’t want me to go down on her, was there a situation?

Real People Stories – David

Please give me advice and maybe some help?… (HPV related). So last year I met a girl. Me being a virgin, and her being fresh out of a previous relationship. I didn’t know anything about STDs. We took things pretty slow. Getting to know each other better, getting a good feel for our feelings and slowly moving forward. We never actually had sex. But it was something that was about to happen. She did perform oral on me a few times up until that point. At first, she didn’t want me to go down on her, saying there was a bit of an STD Home check and treatment situation. So I was thinking something like her period or something similar.

The Revelation

Well, after that, almost a month of us going out, out of the blue. Again, no sex (I’m still a virgin when it comes to penetrative sex). She told me that this whole time, she had 2 HPV strains, which is why she didn’t want me to go down on her. The 2 have both high-risk HPV cancerous types. She also mentioned that she didn’t want to tell me at first because she didn’t want to be rejected for something like that. (And obviously, while breaking up and this whole time. I have never mentioned to her anything about the virus).

Ending the Relationship and Concerns

Well, after that, I stopped the relationship with her. But for this past year, I’ve been very concerned about my health (both mental and physical).

In general, I’m the type of person who doesn’t easily create feelings for someone. But this time, I thought she was the one. So, the whole time we were going out, I slowly allowed my feelings to reach her and come out. Not only that but about the time I had decided she was the girl that I’d allow to come closer to me, that was the point when she told me about the HPV virus.

Her Negative Report and Lingering Feelings

A year later, she said the last STD exam she did a few months ago returned negative.

I’m still not over her. And contemplating if I should do anything with her. But I’m afraid… it hurts thinking about her (we are in the same friend group)

I’m trying to exercise, sleep, lower my stress(through meditation and breathing exercises, etc.), and eat a good diet of fruits, meat, and vegetables.

Medical Check-Up and Concerns About Future Relationships

I did go to an STD doctor, who examined me but found nothing. Is there anything else I can do about my STD viral health?

On top of that, I am afraid of entering a new relationship, thinking there might be a chance for me to give a potential new partner this various. My logic says I should stop seeing her and move on, but simultaneously, my feelings say the opposite. I wouldn’t want to hurt a future partner with HPV news the way she did to me.

Is there any advice anyone could give me about all this…

Thanks. Have a good day/night.

Ryan

I’m a virgin male/22y with HPV – Did my parents pass this along to me?

Hey guys, I’m posting this in the right place. For the record, yes, my doctor knows about this, but for some reason, he isn’t recommending that I treat it (explained below). I’ll keep this short while including all the important details.

Initial Diagnosis

A few months ago, I was officially given the formal results after an HPV test from 12 years of knowing I had it in one form or another. Beginning at age 10, after accidentally discovering the wonderful world of masturbation, I started getting warts on my hands. Over a few years, even with limited genital contact, I had close to 50 on both hands. One day, when I was about 14, they disappeared almost instantly.

Fast forward to 18, I had a few new STD warts, just barely starting to develop at the base of my thumb, but my focus shifted to identical-looking warts (2 or 3) at the base of my penis. I thought they would go away, which they technically did after a year, but from age 19-22 (today), I’ve had 2 warts on the inside of my urethra. I knew even before being tested that it was HPV, mostly because my mom had cancer caused by the virus.

Family History

A bit of important family history: my dad had HPV testicular cancer at age 5 (he’s 69 now), had one testicle removed, and had several surgeries to remove genital warts between 1988-1993 while my parents were married. He was unable to have children because he had blockages in his urethra, but they somehow beat the odds, so here I am today. My mom had stage 4B cervical cancer in 2008, a 15/85% chance to live, but she beat it. She tested positive for HPV in 2008, but they never said anything specific, like a strain. Later, though, in 2015, she was given more specific STD DNA Type results showing which strains she had, 3 in total.

My Results

Back to me, I reported a strong positive for 4 types of HPV and a weak/ghost positive for 2 others, all of which are the STD strains that cause testicular cancer, cervical cancer, and 3 types of warts (epidermal, urethral, and oral mucous membrane). The doctor had told me to hold off on STD tests and treatment until they could understand how/where I got it. By the way, they adamantly refused the theory that it came from my parents. Seems a bit closed-minded if you ask me.

Question About Transmission

Here’s my question. For a guy with no sexual contact, is it possible to have contracted all of this during childbirth? The strains I have are what my mom has, plus the 3 that would only flare up in males (I’m assuming what my dad has).

Concerns and Mental condition

I’m starting to get concerned about what to do. I’ve already won a battle with STD depression that lasted for a few years, and I’ve been trying hard to lose weight over the past 2 years. I’m down 85 pounds, started at 303, down to 219. I can’t overcome my social anxiety, but my weight loss is giving me a bit of confidence to at least maybe in the future pay for an escort or something… This new detail of having 6 kinds of HPV is essentially erasing all of this progress in my mind. I know I can be safe, but I tend to care too much about others to take that chance.