Events induced profound change in me. Sad.. also beautiful?

Elisa tells her story.

We present to you with great pride the testimony of our friend, Elisa Gilbert. With her delicate artistic soul, she retraces some moments linked to the awareness of life after discovering and testing the HPV disease. An extraordinary event happened to me when I realised from the test that I had CA125 Ovarian cancer. Indeed, several events induced a profound change in me. Sad and also beautiful events…

It was a slow process, but at the same time, very fast; time had overlapped, and time was no longer time. There was only me in a timeless time. While speed and expectation revolved around me, I felt the duty to reach that time dimension. Not to detach myself from the reality that I knew, that others knew, for fear of losing myself. For fear that those around me wouldn’t recognise me in this completely new dimension that somehow dissociated me from myself, but at the same time, I could only find union with myself.

I had to look for some rationality in a moment when a thousand emotions dominated…

But it didn’t last long because the change was a river or a tsunami…

Survival plan

I immediately had a test for CA125 lives. The test results led to the realisation after my hospitalisation (which I experienced as if in limbo) that I had Ovarian Organ Cancer. Once I got home, I had to implement a survival plan from a cancer therapeutic point of view.

I knew that the help of my family members, however willing, was limited. And I, with extreme mental clarity and also thanks to my albeit immature HPV health tests and preparations. I made a detailed program of times, therapies and daily habits. Above all, for me and my family, test and disease education was needed in caring for the person. It may sound simple, but the difficulty of helping and assisting a sick person is often underestimated. It requires empathy as well as professional preparation. It’s not always obvious because a person in need cannot always request help despite needing it. Knowledge of these issues is fundamental for me.

So I understood my family’s difficulties well…

I, therefore, found the answers and the requests satisfied when I needed them.

At the same time, the HPV Virus was leading a transformation that was taking place inside me. I was never static inside, and I had to bring out everything. The CA125 levels were increasing in the tests. And I felt, perceived and decoded from myself somehow. And I did it by talking. Bringing out emotions, making my dearest and most intimate people participate in my reflections and emotions. Even instantly, they were overwhelmed by my ecstasy. By my enthusiasm, by my reasoning… I was an open book… vulnerable but also logical. External information penetrated me at a disarming speed, but I did not feel disarmed. I welcomed everything as a gift… a very precious gift! It was wonderful what was happening to me…

But above all I learned to communicate with art… which I find necessary for my soul. Through painting and drawing, I find myself… it is my dimension. Neglected and lost it for too long, but happy to have found it again. Cancer made me understand the importance of life and human beings… believing in them means believing in ourselves and loving ourselves; this will open the doors to freedom, happiness, and truth… we must not be afraid of life, especially of death… because death is nothing other than a transformation, a change to a life different from this one, but always

life. And it’s wonderful to live the here and now, live today, savour the juice of life, the little things that seem futile. Everything inside and outside of me is life… pure LIFE!

What I know for sure is that I feel life has meaning. Everything has a reason, and nothing happens by chance.

Hope

I have been immersed in love for life and myself, and I try to convey it as soon as I can, with my means and in my way.

There are ups and downs—I don’t deny it. Like everyone, I’m not always present to myself, both physically and psychologically. Sometimes, I’m unpredictable and unstable. I perceive life as precarious, and I have anxiety about living it “without wasting time.”

Other times, however, I am calm and serene and enjoy what is happening around me; I savour it delicately, sensually… without haste.

I feel the need to convey all this because life is the US… And if we don’t care for ourselves and truly love ourselves, we don’t LIVE!

I know it scares everyone to be aware of the fact HPV is real. Everyone says it’s not easy whenever I talk about CA125 Tests. And I know it well!! The path, the journey, the road—call it what you want—is hard, long, and troubled.

Often, it is not achieved…

But this is not important; it is not the goal. The important thing is the steps we take, day after day, moment by moment, falling and getting up, but fundamentally never losing the centre… which is us and life! I want to thank my CA125 Blood Test group, Gruppo Abbracciamo un Sogno, which helped me be reborn, see things with love and positivity and express myself… THANK YOU! I have so many other things to say, but it would take two hours just for me! Thank you for giving us this opportunity to talk about ourselves. We hope to reach people’s hearts and remove the fear associated with the word CANCER. We believe that ovarian HPV cancer must be tested and confronted directly to be defeated. As true warriors, we fight it with all our strength!