Disease doesn’t want to leave. Can my body eliminate it?

Real People Stories – Kayla

Following a routine check-in. I want to provide my testimony regarding the papillomavirus, in other words, HPV. I relate to many of the stories on this site. Following a routine check-up in 2020, my smear test revealed CIN 1 with HPV infection. My STD test gynaecologist told me to wait six months. New smear: it is still there. We wait six months again: It doesn’t want to leave. My body can’t eliminate it on its own. As a result, I underwent a colposcopy + biopsy in 2010.

Diagnosis and Treatment Decision

I was diagnosed with oncogenic HPV type 16. My gynaecologist recommended laser vaporisation, which I do. The urgent STD operation will be done under general anaesthesia, and I will return home the same evening. There was no pain. I was lucky to have a wonderful gynaecologist who listened to me! But above all… a lot of anxiety and a feeling of shame that nothing can erase. Before 2008, I didn’t know about HPV. I only thought about protecting myself against AIDS and other STDs…if I had known. For six years, my smears came back normal. I feel revived and liberated, even though tests show that the virus is only “asleep”. Mid-November, I do a routine check. My smear comes back, Ascus. I cry all the tears in my body without being surprised.

Health Challenges and New Concerns

Since my return to France, I have had health problems, and I know that HPV thrives on a weakened immune system. My new gynaecologist asked me to come to his office and immediately performed a biopsy of my cervix and vagina. He doesn’t tell me anything, but I suspect from his words that my friend HPV has made a comeback. The results will be known in 10-15 days. If it does, I would have to undergo colonisation. I’m anxious, and the word cancer comes to mind. I just met a good man. I’m 34, and we’re discussing having a baby within two years. I cling to this idea; I will fight again.

However, I decided to stop reading articles on the web. If some sites comfort me, like this site, many terrify me. Each case of HPV is ultimately “unique”, and each body reacts differently. From my experience, the best weapons to fight this virus are: – regular follow-ups with the gynaecologist and appropriate medical treatment; health is too precious to be neglected, – having a healthy lifestyle, – and, above all, not losing hope, even though I know it isn’t easy. We will all overcome it!!!!! On that end, thank you for reading.

Julia

Baby Project

At thirty-four years old, a baby project makes me consult at the end of November to stop my pill under good conditions. I’m afraid of pregnancy, but I want it so much deep down inside.. and I have some worries about occasional STD-type pains outside of my period… I prefer to do a complete check-up before we start…

A smear test done a year and a half ago by a gynaecologist who has since retired was suspicious. My current gynaecologist asked if the HPV test was positive. I replied to what the previous gynaecologist had told me: “If I don’t call you, everything is fine”… He never called me… 

During the STD examination, there was a hemorrhagic cervix. He did another smear test just to be sure… He reassured me and said we could start trying for a baby; I just had to finish my last 15 days of the pill… I was so happy leaving his office, feeling so ready…

Sudden Turn: Urgent Colposcopy and Devastating News

Eight days later, on a Friday, a message from the gynaecologist’s secretary said I needed to come back for an urgent colposcopy. This worried me, so I called back and was told the results were interpretable… I felt something was wrong, but they didn’t want to tell me. I took the appointment. The weekend passed, and I decided to call the lab on Monday. Luckily, I spoke directly to the doctor, who remembered my case from my name… This didn’t reassure me.

She told me I had multiple HPV strains for a year and a half! She was very surprised no one had ever called me back… My voice trembled; she sensed it and explained that it had progressed… but preferred that I see the results with my gynaecologist… She also explained that I needed to prepare for an intervention quickly… and that the colposcopy had to be done urgently… and for now, abandon the baby project… It was early December… The first blow.

Diagnosis Confirmed: Facing Surgery

A replacement gynaecologist did the colposcopy that week, as mine was on vacation. She looked at my results and said nothing, then asked me to prepare for the exam. During the exam, I wasn’t in pain; I asked her how an STD virus could progress so quickly… She replied that it was no longer just the virus but that cancerous lesions had evolved… Another blow… I didn’t understand, I didn’t even dare to ask any more questions, I was so scared. At the end of the exam, she announced that my STD smear report was high-grade and likely cancerous and that I would need surgery very soon, probably before Christmas, depending on the colposcopy results… I was devastated leaving the exam…

I am afraid of never being able to have children, of being useless in my relationship, and of dying… Despite waiting for results, my gynaecologist called me after his vacation to reassure me. He said we needed to take it step by step and that, yes, surgery was likely necessary, but it wouldn’t be invasive… He reassured me even at 9 pm; I feel so lucky to have found him 🙂

Pathology Results and Future Plans

The pathology results came back mid-December: CIN III at noon; the other three samples were medium-grade, so it seemed less widespread than expected! More reassuring results than the STD smear test; we could wait until after the holidays for surgery. The surgery is planned for next week under local anaesthesia… I am very scared… scared of the operation under local anaesthesia, of being in pain, of moving, of being a nuisance, but at the same time, I was scared of general anaesthesia. Of course, there is the fear of the results…

He also told me that we would probably have to wait 10 months before trying for a baby, even if the results are good… It hurt me… but I am trying to come to terms with it… I work in the paramedical field and am the first to say not to look things up on the internet, but I admit I was the first to do it…

Emotional Rollercoaster: Support and Coping

I found all sorts of worrying STD stressful testimonies, it’s true, but also comforting ones that made me feel less alone… It’s a difficult period for the couple because we are both very worried but at the same time, I don’t want to talk about it with him… Because you know he is as worried as you… he says it doesn’t matter if we can’t have sex for a while, and it doesn’t matter if we can’t have children for now, but he is experiencing your STD anxiety as much as you and is just trying to reassure you. The same goes for friends… some try to reassure you by minimising it, saying it’s nothing, but they don’t understand how hard and distressing HPV is, especially when you haven’t had the chance to be a mother yet…

So, you no longer want to talk about it because people’s misunderstanding almost irritates you…

And courage to all of us, wherever we are.