Could you restrain the urge from jumping up and running away? 

I took this exam for the second time in my life.

Paid and free. The feeling is that sadists are specially hired for free STD Panel. I recently went to the antenatal clinic at my place of residence with the problem that I had been unable to get pregnant for about a year. After undergoing the required minimum tests (blood test, TSH hormone test, and ultrasound of the mammary glands), they sent me to the Perinatal Center for further examination. During my initial appointment, the doctor asked me, among many questions, if I had previously been tested for HPV.

I said yes, I did and I even have a piece of paper.

But it would probably be good to retake it.

The doctor told me that now, in our city, there is a program for the early diagnosis of all sorts of bad diseases that HPV provokes. She wrote me a referral and sent me away in peace.

A little background:

I took this test for the first time in 2017. At that time, they diagnosed me with 3 out of the 16 types.

I took the test at a time when I had a terrible exacerbation of thrush (in fact, that’s why I went to the clinic). At that moment, I decided to get tested for all STDs, and the doctor also suggested an HPV test. I agreed.

The results

The doctors found no STDs, but for HPV, they prescribed extensive treatment for several months in a private clinic. The treatment course included lotions, pills, and various other interventions. They assured me that treatment was possible. You need to have patience and money)))

I was getting ready to go on vacation, so I decided that I would come and think about whether I needed any treatment.

After visiting the doctor, I scoured the Internet and realized that this virus could not be cured; they didn’t find any too-dangerous types of it, so I gave up and moved on with my life.

After that, about a year later, I had to go to another private clinic due to a cycle failure (as it turned out later, this was due to the discontinuation of COCs, and the cycle recovered on its own, but 5000 did not!). Then, they also began to horrify me about these same HPVs.

There were a lot of scary words; they examined me using some clever device, they said that I was already in an advanced stage, and they said this was immediately visible from the condition of my cervix. The STD doctor began to offer me some, in my opinion, strange methods to remove the layer in the uterus, and then she said, “Well, then it’s unlikely that you will give birth on your own…” After that, my patience ran out; I said, “Let me first. I’ll give birth, and then we’ll see.” The doctor nodded and said yes, it’s probably better this way.

Treatment plan

In terms of STD treatment, everything was simpler here —a course of 5 Panavir injections, and that’s it. Well, come to the appointment after I give the injections.

I read about this drug (its cost, by the way, is not at all low). Reviews on the drug need to be clarified; the main medicinal component is potato sprouts. No manifestations of HPV bothered me, and I decided that I would live and be happy. Well, be sure to go for an examination by a gynaecologist once every 6-12 months. With that, I calmed down.

After that, I contacted a gynaecologist at my place of residence and, under the compulsory medical insurance policy, went for examinations. I underwent colposcopy twice, but upon visual examination, the doctor found everything fine and didn’t take any samples from me.

My next HPV test was in January 2021. I turned to a clinic (my housing complex gave me a referral there since the desired pregnancy did not occur for about a year). And there, at the first appointment, the doctor suggested that I take an HPV kit for free under the city’s program. Of course, I agreed; previously for HPV, I had been tested for an infection twice at my own expense.

The doctor gave me a referral, which indicated the date and time of the STD kits I had chosen.

The uncomfortable Appointment

On the appointed day, I came to the STD clinic. Surprisingly, there was only one person in line—there was no queue (apparently doctors are in no hurry to issue referrals to their patients for free testing). At the reception desk, I filled out the necessary papers. I consented to processing personal data and went to the office. After walking in, a young girl sat in the doctor’s place with a huge medical book (she looked like she’d just graduated from university).

I lay down on the chair and tried to relax as much as possible. The girl doctor inserted a mirror – unpleasant but tolerable. And  I felt my hand was not full, like experienced doctors. I thought – “Well, it happens; fortunately, the torment is over!” But it was not there! Then, the HPV doctor began to move around inside. It was very painful. It felt like they were taking a smear for me with a rose stem, from which they had previously forgotten to remove the thorns. She said, “Oh, if there’s a couple of drops of blood, don’t be surprised; I scratched it with lint.”

I have never had a smear taken so painfully before! Lying on the chair, I could barely restrain myself from jumping up and running away. 

After the analysis, I immediately went to work, and when I went to the toilet, it turned out that there was blood in my underwear, not two drops at all, as promised… Fortunately, at least the panties were not the newest. 

Final thoughts

At the next appointment, my doctor informed me that they tested for 16 types of HPV. Imagine my surprise when they discovered no single type was present in me! This is how it happens. At the same time, I did not treat anything. Strange, incomprehensible. So I’m wondering where we incorrectly analyzed, or if this STD virus had entered its active phase for the first time, which led to its determination based on the tests.

I was quite satisfied with the result of the last analysis, so I didn’t go to retake anything.

Now, I take vitamins as I am preparing for the long-awaited pregnancy. For this reason, I recently had to undergo a hysteroscopy procedure.

I recommend an HPV test since it allows you to diagnose your health and, I think, has saved many from some serious STD diseases, allowing you to prevent them at an early stage.

But I still take off a star because the results are not always accurate for everyone.

Thank you, everyone, for sticking around until the end!

Don’t get sick, and love each other!