Real People Stories – Lucas

A breakdown of my 9-month HPV test experience. A positive outlook from 24y/male. January 2016, a month out from completing grad school. Fresh from stress, coffee binges and last hurrahs of going out and drinking, I sat on my couch, proudly unemployed and free of any responsibility. I was watching the Price is Right, drinking a cup of coffee and scratching my balls. Why scratching your balls feels so good? No one knows, but if you have them, you know the glory of a good pinch and roll. My life was at an all-time high until I felt that little bump. Something the size of an ingrown hair or pimple. Of course, that’s exactly what I thought it was. Tried to pop it, but nothing. Then, the STD paranoia kicked in, and I could remember the conversation with my university doctor.

I had gone in for a STI checkup a year ago (fuck the acronym STD), and the first thing my doctor asked was, “Do you know what the most common STD is?” I guessed chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhoea; this list went on. As you can guess, he said HPV and mentioned that more than half the population has some strain of it. I laughed to myself and briefly thought how gross and disfiguring a about of warts would do to the sacred area. My man-region was clean, my junk and I were boys, nothing could get between our friendship!

Diagnosis and Initial Treatment

I went to my doctor at home, and it turned out to be a wart. Was deviated and felt demoralised. Without hesitance, I was prescribed Aldara (Imiquimod). SIDE NOTE: Make an appointment with a dermatologist before you decide to trust a general practitioner; this may cost you a few extra bucks but could save you a shitload of hassle (if you don’t believe me, tell yourself you’re stupid and read it again).

Spicy balls. The feisty tango with Aldara…

Rules to live by:

  1. If you have small or few warts, go to the dermatologist and get them turned off.
  2. If it’s a cluster or something a spot treatment can’t handle, talk to the dermatologist, and you’ll probably get the cream.

Let me start by mentioning Aldara is a bitch. After 2 weeks it caused red blotches (not warts, but thought they were warts) to appear. Probably used too much at too quick of a rate, and boom, ulceration mimicking something like herpes. Awful experience; if you have any questions regarding that stuff, I am more than happy to answer your questions. I never want anyone unknowingly going through such a terrible experience. Would’ve skipped this painful, mentally crippling 4-month step.

Fast forward to today and looking to the future…

Fast Forward to Today and Looking to the Future…

I’ve been exercising, eating better, taking supplements, stressing, and drinking significantly less. It’s paid off since I’ve only had a few minor recurrences in the past five months and can spot-treat them. It’s noticeable that my body is winning the fight.

Lessons Learned

Throughout this experience, I’ve learned a lot: 1. Tell select close friends and family (if you can). It makes life easier to have a support system. 2. Understand your relationship with the “nightlife” will change but for the better. Instead of binge drinking and sleeping around, go on dates. I’ve yet to disclose my situation to a significant other, but I’ve met some great ladies through this experience, and if she’s the right one, STDs shouldn’t stand in the way. As guys, we have it much better since most women are already educated on the subject. Don’t let the fear of rejection keep you from dating. 3. Know you aren’t alone. It’s estimated that 20 million people are affected by HPV warts, and countless others have had irregular pap smears or display no symptoms. It’s an STD world, and we’re all living in it.

A Positive Outlook

HPV may push you to be healthier in all respects of life (nutrition, exercise, dating),; if it does, consider it a win. You may become healthier, happier and more fulfilled. I think it’s a challenge.

Remember, don’t get yourself down. Stay positive. And stop stressing out so fucking much; they’re just skin bumps.


My girlfriend lied about having HPV.

Hi, any advice on this would be great. My girlfriend of 10 months lied about having HPV. We’ve talked about STDs and the like numerous times, and she has never brought up that she has recently tested positive for HPV, even when asked if she has ANY STI/STD.

How I Found Out

I found out she had it when an ex contacted her, confirming he had tested positive for an STD ( We both have been tested multiple times since, and everything came back negative). Her ex contacted me and showed me screenshots of their conversation confirming that she has HPV and has no intention of telling me. Now, I understand that HPV is mostly harmless for men and that if you are sexually active, it is highly likely that you will contract an STD.

We’ve had conversations specifically about HPV; the fact that she had so many opportunities to bring it up and hasn’t said anything and, on top of it, lied about it is bothering me, coupled with the fact that I had to find out from someone else. I understand its not an easy discussion to have. Most sexually active people have the STD. It’s not a big deal, so why not tell me about it?

My Concerns

I don’t know what to do because while having an STD isn’t a big deal, she still lied about something that potentially could affect my health, and I had no say in the matter, and that’s concerning to me. If the tables were flipped, it would be a bigger deal because HPV can lead to cancer in women in higher percentages. I’m not sure I can continue this relationship, knowing that she knew she had an STD and didn’t tell me.

I don’t know what to do. I like her a lot, but this secret she has kept from me makes me question the relationship. It could’ve been a simple conversation, but she knowingly put my health at risk. She never gave me the option to decide for myself. If I did leave, this would affect future partners as well.

What do I do?