Real People Stories – Margot

Feeling scared and sad, trying to stay calm 😔 HPV +, HSIL CIN 2-3

I’m glad I found this CA125 test forum, and I want to share my experience. And I appreciate any thoughts, comments, or advice. I tested HPV+ during the pap smear and got a colposcopy done a few days later. I was anxious about the colposcopy, but it wasn’t as painful as I’d imagined and felt like a Pap smear. The doctor advised against local anaesthesia during colposcopy. It went well. He collected cells for a biopsy.

Concerns Over HSIL CIN 2-3 Diagnosis

The CA125 results came in yesterday, and tests show HSIL CIN 2-3. My last CA125 pap test was completely clear in 2022. So that means CIN 2-3 developed in 2 years?! I haven’t been able to speak to the doctor yet. The nurse called me, saying I’ll likely need a LEEP, which has yet to be scheduled.

Of course, this is disheartening.

My family has a history of cancer. My mom had ovarian cancer and had to have a hysterectomy done. I got the cervical cancer vaccine when I was 15-16 years old. My mind is racing, but I’m trying to stay calm. Been doing my research until I can speak to the doctor on Monday.

I haven’t been able to share this with my partner (30M) yet. He knows about everything except for the CA125 biopsy results. We started dating 2.5 months ago, and he was pretty freaked out by just the HPV and the test results already. He hasn’t gotten the vaccine yet but said he’s planning to. He may freak out more if I tell him about CIN 2-3. What’s the impact on my partner if I’m CIN 2-3? Does it mean I gave it to him?! I’m trying to stay positive, but part of me feels sad that we can’t be intimate/ have oral sex, or maybe we won’t want to.

Anxious thoughts about it all night. Part of me feels guilty and wonders if there’s a potential for us to end things. I’ve had 3 sexual relationships between 2022 and 2024. I told my exes to figure out their course of action and tell their current partners. I don’t have all the information yet. And part of me feels like I should wait until I talk to the doctor before I share the biopsy results with my partner.

Laurel

Highly anxious over a past oral encounter + living w/ high risk 

First, I’m sorry if this comes across as annoying or overbearing. I have a CA125 anxiety disorder, which can potentially turn any minor health concern into life-threatening female alarms. But I am aware of this and sorry to ask; feel free to delete the post if required.

I have read through most of the CA125 stuff about the disease. It helped calm me down, but still… anxiety is a bi*ch, I guess. 8 years ago, I was making out with this woman (we both have cervixes) who stopped and told me she had been with someone tested with HPV. She had developed a wart, too. But she reassured me that if I did not want to stop there, her HPV doctors had told her she was OK to have sex with other people with cervixes.

I listened with intent and assured her I was OK with moving forward, and we gave each other oral sex and called it a day. I never had sex with her again (for other reasons; it was a one-night thing).

Seeking Reassurance

After a few months, I grew anxious because I started seeing this (cis) man and wanted to make sure I couldn‘t give him HPV. I never found out the strain she had, but I went on and asked my CA125 OB/GYN to test me, which she gladly did, and called a few months after to tell me I was clear.

I am aware that we’re meant to be (mostly) able to ”pass it out” (sorry, English is not my mother tongue, and I feel that’s not the best way to put it) and that it will often go away on its own. It’s been 8 years since then, during which I have stayed with my other partner and have not even kissed anyone else. He hasn’t either. We’re not really into doing much with anyone else now.

Persistent Anxiety and Symptoms

I am also aware that, in most cases, the ones that cause warts are low risk. But still, it is a LOW chance of HPV recurrence/dormancy. And there is a LOW chance of HPV warts developing into something that gives me cervical cancer. But having developed a new, weird texture reminded me of warts these past few days. It may be vestibular papillomatosis, but I await my CA125 doctor’s appointment soon. I hope they take me seriously). DESPITE every pap and test I’ve taken ever since coming back negative… I’m VERY anxious. This sounds like an understatement but may come across as stupid/frivolous coming from someone with so little to base their fear upon…

Living with a Family Member’s Experience

Last thing: my mother, sadly, contracted a dangerous HPV strain a few years ago and had to undergo that surgical procedure to prevent lesions from developing into cervix cancer. Because it was turning into cancer quite fast, I have lived with her for the past year and am also anxious about the possibility of contagion via objects I have read about in the pinned thread. And I am trying (and succeeding) to avoid showing my OCD + anxiety to still go about the house as usual. The last thing I want is for her to feel guilty over this. I still give her pecks on the cheek before sleeping and all, but I have grown very anxious about living with someone whose lesions have progressed so far into damaging ones.

My final thoughts are… bring this up soon to my CA125 doctor so they can test my new weird texture down there & ask whether I can get the HPV vaccine, perhaps? I’m not sure I can or which vaccine to get either. And… why are my low chances scaring me so much? Can anyone tell me, for sure, whether my mother’s cervix lesions are not transmittable via inanimate objects or whether worrying after 8 years of being in contact with someone who had warts (having oral sex with her) is plain dumb? Sorry…